Sharing The Future
by PrettyGothGirl
Summary: RG Vegnagun is over and Rikku returns to her secret joy, a secret she needs to a share with a man she has no idea will accept it.


**Sharing the Future**  
_by PrettyGothGirl_

All Disclaimers Apply  
**Summary:** Vegnagun is over and Rikku returns to her secret joy, a secret she needs to a share with a man she has no idea will accept it.  
**A/N:** This poked at me to be written and poked and poked. I can't seem to write angst without cuteness. There maybe more of this story. I do have ideas, I'm just not sure I want to pursue it, since this plot has been done quite a bit, just not in this way or at least I haven't seen it done this way.

Vegnagun was over. Tidus was back. Sin was gone. The world was safe. Rikku stared at the opening of the tent. The harsh midday sun beat on her skin, the top of her head, making her tired. She could continue her life again. Her life was there, inside that tent all she had to do was step inside.

She hadn't expected it to take two years. She took a deep breath and took the few steps inside.

"Mommy!"

Two little arms wrapped around her legs, a small head with white gold hair pressed into a calf.

Tears pricked at Rikku's eyes and she leaned down and picked up her little boy. She peered into eyes slightly lighter than her own, prominent cheekbones over deep dimples, a big grin. "Baby." She hugged him to her chest. "I missed you."

She buried her nose into his hair and pressed her lips to her forehead. Her illicit secret, her little boy, the one thing that made her keep going to end everything so she could be with him all the time instead of stolen moments.

He wrapped his arms around her neck and babbled baby nonsense into her ear. She nodded and listened and moved over to the couch so she could sit down. She stroked his head and his ears, fingering the stud left one, pink. Her little boy was growing up so fast and she missed so much. No more missing. She was going to stick around from now on.

A gentle voice intruded on the reunion. "Rikku," a handkerchief was put in front of her eyes.

Rikku looked up and took it, wiping at the tears she hadn't realized she'd been shedding. "Thank you." She whispered. The baby boy placed a hand on his mother's cheek and she smiled at him and kissed his nose. He smiled happily at her and kissed her back on the cheek.

Fariishta smiled at her and rubbed the top of the boy's head. "Are you all right?"

Rikku smiled and nodded, tears still slipped from her eyes. "It's over."

Fariishta closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "And?"

"I-I," Rikku put her head on top of her child's. "I can stay now. I can be the mother my Juddal deserves." The other woman put a hand on Rikku's thigh and squeezed. "It's been so hard, staying happy despite it all. I couldn't bear to be away any longer."

Fariishta stood up. "I'll pack his things."

Rikku grabbed her hand. "Thank you Fariishta-" she stared at her friend, for keeping the secret, for taking care of him, for letting him go, making him happy, helping him understand so much she couldn't even say it all. "Thank you for everything."

Fariishta squeezed her hand. "It was my pleasure."

Rikku let her hand go. "I should take him and-" She looked away. "He needs to meet his father." She swallowed and stood up, holding Juddal closer. "I know where he is right now and he- I'll come back for his things."

"I understand."

Rikku looked at her. "I know. I just need to say it aloud."

Fariishta smiled. "Go, before he vanishes. He never did like staying one place."

"No. We share that in common." Rikku walked out with her son on her hip. She looked over at Juddal. "Let's go see daddy."

She put him on the hover she'd borrowed in front of her and drove into the desert. He fell asleep early on, waking up from time to time and looking around, cooing but not talking before napping a little more and she was left alone with her thoughts, thoughts of his father and her family and her friends.

The father that didn't even know his son existed. The accident that she loved and cherished once she figured out her pregnancy. The miracle that she'd coped without male help when all her male relatives had disappeared and his father was nowhere to be found. The joy of her life she didn't think that Yuna would understand and so she kept it secret. A secret because it was easier than admitting she'd been pregnant on the pilgrimage. Easier than telling Yuna and Tidus and Lulu and all the others that she wasn't as innocent as they thought she was. He was her miracle that one night of love had created. Easier than going to her father and asking for his help or admitting to her brother that she couldn't come with the Gullwings even though he desperately needed her help.

She'd been there for the firsts. She made sure of it. His first word, his first step. Juddal knew his mother loved him. She showed him pictures and told him stories and put him to bed as often as she could. He was her baby, a baby that once weaned she had to leave in the care of others. It hurt. It was easier, easier than feeling guilt when her cousin was sad.

No more easy.

She pulled into the Al Bhed camp as the sun was going down. Juddal woke up, yawning and rubbing his eyes. She got off and stretched then picked him up.

"Down." He said.

She smiled and set him down. "All right baby. Hold my hand."

He stuck close to her legs as they crossed over the sands towards the lit tents. Nhadala intercepted her. "Rikku. If you're looking for Gippal-" Juddal dived behind her legs before Nhadala saw him. Nhadala wasn't looking for a child anyways. "Now isn't a good time."

"A disasterrific day?" Rikku closed her eyes. Nhadala was right. It was the worst time. He was tired. She was tired. Juddal would be hungry and if Gippal had a bad day. He wouldn't take things well. He wasn't going to take it well to begin with.

The tent opened behind Nhadala. "Nothing is bad enough to see Cid's girl." Gippal grinned.

Rikku opened her eyes and bit the inside of her lip. She heard a sniffle behind her. She spun around and knelt. Juddal rubbed at his eyes again, his bottom lip quivering. "'ungry." He whispered.

She wrapped her arms around him. "I know baby. Mommy wasn't thinking." She picked him up. She spoke up. "Nhadala's right, now's probably a bad time. I can come back in the morning." She took a step away.

Gippal put a hand on his shoulder. "Rikku?"

She put her head on top of Juddal's, tears pricking her eyes. She missed the way he said her name, like it was the only name of importance in the world. "We're tired and hungry. I-I didn't plan this well." It'd taken her hours of arguing to get Anikki to divert to Bikanel and a few more hours to get to Fariishta's tent and Juddal and then coming here.

Gippal walked around her and she saw his ludicrous purple shirt, saw it stop, and saw his chest stop moving. She looked up slowly and met his gaze. She felt tears running down her cheeks again. She should have done this in the morning. Juddal squirmed in her arms and she shifted him, he turned around. Gippal rocked back on his heels. His eyes flicked to Juddal's face to Rikku. He didn't need to ask if it was his son. Their features were too similar for him to be anything else.

His jaw clenched, his hands curled into fists and she took a step back and put a hand on the back of Juddal's head. Gippal took a deep breath. "No. Now's a good time." He smiled. "I have dinner and you two can share it with me."

Juddal looked at his mother. "Mommy?"

Rikku met Gippal's eyes. "All right." Juddal suddenly buried his head in Rikku's neck. Rikku's eyebrows rose and she looked at him. "What's the matter? You were looking right at him a second ago. Now you're being all shy." Juddal shook his head rapidly. Rikku stroked his back and sighed. "Juddal, he doesn't bite." She paused. "Hard."

Gippal reared back. "Hey!"

Rikku grinned at him and turned around. "You don't." She paused. Nhadala had her arms crossed and was staring at her with wide eyes. Rikku ducked her head and walked around her to get into the tent. She set Juddal down on a cushion. She knelt in front of him. "You're getting heavy." She said and tickled his chin. Juddal laughed and tried to wiggle away.

Gippal murmured something to Nhadala and entered behind them, the tent flap closing behind him. He came and sat down next to Juddal. "So, Juddal right?" He looked at Rikku. She nodded as Juddal nodded. "How old are you?"

Rikku mouthed 'one' at Juddal. Juddal grinned. "One!"

"Almost two." Rikku grinned.

Gippal looked like he was biting his tongue. His eyes narrowed and he glanced at Rikku.

She bit her lip and nodded. Yes, she'd been pregnant during the journey to destroy Sin. Gippal's lips pressed together and he turned back to Juddal. "So, you hungry?" Juddal's eyes widened and he nodded. Gippal grinned at his son. "Good, because I am too." Juddal grinned back showing off his few teeth. Gippal got up and went across the tent. He came back with plates and utensils.

Rikku took the extra knife and handed Juddal a spoon. "Share with mommy." She said and sat next to him, putting him on her lap and the plate on his lap. Juddal poked at the food with the spoon before scooping up a mashed vegetable and putting in his mouth. Rikku mashed some of the rest and cut it into little portions so he could chew it.

She was hyperaware of Gippal's eyes on her and on Juddal. She paid attention to making sure Juddal didn't fling his spoon fully loaded across the tent or didn't eat too fast, helping him hold the cup and carefully drink out of it. Juddal wasn't fully cup trained yet. She took bites between Juddal's and kept him from eating with his hands. She couldn't look at Gippal, though Juddal looked over from time to time and giggled.

"'unny faces, daddy." He clapped his hands, still holding his spoon. Rikku grabbed it before he could fling food all over. "More!"

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "What do you say, Juddal?"

"Pwease."

She kissed the top of his head. "That's my baby."

"All done!"

"All done? Already?" Rikku gave a deep sigh. "Okay, hands." Juddal held out his hands and she wiped them off with a moist cloth and then rubbed his face before he could protest. She picked up the plate. "Off with you then."

Juddal crawled off her lap and ran off to explore the tent.

Gippal's voice was low. "Almost two?"

"I didn't know until the pilgrimage was over." Rikku set the plate down and laced her fingers together. "I swear. If I had, I wouldn't have gone." She peeked over at him. He was frowning and she stared at her hands then kept an eye on Juddal. "I was fifteen Gippal. I knew nothing about pregnancy other than how to become so and that just barely."

"I know." He said through clenched teeth. "I was there."

Juddal crawled all over the cushions, sticking his nose and fingers everywhere in the habit of toddlers. He wasn't sticking things other than his fingers in his mouth so Rikku left him alone.

"I _wanted_ to tell you. I couldn't _find_ you. You were gone and I couldn't travel." Her hands pressed together tighter. "Pops was off somewhere and Anikki was gone too. I resigned myself to doing it alone. I had friends on the island that took us in but- _sands_ Gippal I- I was so scared all by myself and then by the time Anikki came back and I could travel again it was over."

"You should've told me."

"When? When we first met again. On a bridge with my cousin right there, 'oh by the way, you're a father, but there's this big machine thing that we have to fight.' Was that really the time? When both of us could've been killed? Would that have been fair to Juddal to introduce him to his father and then have you disappear?"

"He's my son too."

"I'm doing the best I can." Rikku looked away. "I wasn't sure if you'd even _want _him. I couldn't even tell if you still felt anything for me, _Cid's girl_. I can't remember if you loved me back before Sin or not. I didn't want you to feel pressured by a child if you didn't love me. I don't know Gippal. I'm so confused." She put her head in her hands. "He's been my secret, my joy for so long." She whispered.

Gippal moved over and wrapped an arm about her. "I can't help being mad." He dragged her head so it rested against his chest. "It's just my pride. I had a son and no one told me. My girl was pregnant and didn't get word to me so I could help her."

"I haven't told anyone else. No one knows but Fariishta and I, now you and Nhadala, though I didn't want her to know." Rikku shuddered and bit her lip. "The way she looked at me."

"She'll get over it." Gippal rubbed her back. "On that bridge, I couldn't tell if you felt anything for me either. I, I didn't know what I should do. The last time we'd seen each other had been waking up in the same bed."

"It was a little awkward." Rikku sniffled.

"But this- this is not 'same as ever.'" He gestured towards Juddal.

Rikku looked up and narrowed her eyes. "Having a child doesn't change _me_." She swallowed and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "I'm still the same. I still worry about what you think about me. I still want you." She blushed. "I had your child." She hid her face. "I always wanted to be a mother."

Gippal chuckled. "Yeah, I remember that." He gazed at Juddal. "We make cute kids."

Rikku pinched him. "Gippal!"

He sidled out of the way and turned quiet. "Can I call him Judd?"

She bit her lip and turned to look at Juddal. "If you want."

"I want you and not just because of Judd. Though he's a pretty big factor." Gippal brushed Rikku's bangs back.

"Your kids won't grow up without a father." She whispered and smiled. "I remember."

Gippal sighed. "Yeah. And our kids won't grow up without a mother. So no more doing anything stupid, like going on pilgrimage while pregnant."

"I told you. I didn't know."

"No fighting big ass scary machines."

"Ohh, you take the fun out of life." Rikku mock growled.

Gippal leaned his head down. "And lots of this." He murmured and kissed her lips. She moaned and curled her hands into fists. He ended the kiss. "I missed you."

Rikku's eyes widened. "You did?" He nodded. Rikku grinned. "Well, no more fighting big ass scary machines for you too. And no joining death squadrons, entering caves filled with pyreflies bent on possession."

"I resisted possession thank you very much." He put his chin on her head. He watched Judd walk over to them and fall against his leg. He opened up his other arm and Juddal climbed up. Gippal wrapped his arm about his son's shoulders. "You want to stay with me and mommy. Be a real family."

"New baby?" Juddal asked.

Rikku sat up and blinked. "I swear, Gippal. I have not been putting _that_ notion into his head."

Gippal just laughed. He grinned at his son. "Maybe someday there will be a new baby brother or sister."

Juddal grinned back. "Big boy."

"Then you'd be the big boy." Gippal nodded.

"Home?"

Gippal nodded. "Home."

Juddal spread his arms and wrapped them around Gippal's neck. "Good daddy."

Rikku put her head on Gippal's chest. "A home where?"

Gippal smirked. "Well, I've been hearing rumors of an airship in the Eastern Ocean and if we can just get to it first-"

Rikku leaned up and kissed him. "Sounds wonderful."

--

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